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No More Mr. Nice Guy

No More Mr. Nice Guy

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No one wants to pay for a real health care system, just as no one wants to pay to put our nation’s kids in front of good teachers in capable schools—we think we can get everything “on the cheap,” but what we really thus get is mostly garbage. The only logical solution was to try to appear to be needless and wantless while trying to get their needs met in indirect and covert ways.

Nice Guys just keep trying harder to get a non-workable situation to work or get someone to be something they are not. Getting good sex is dependent on recovering Nice Guys bringing their shame and fear out of the closet and into the open where they can be looked at and released. The single most important item of information here— almost literally the only thing that matters about any of these studies—has consistently and always been completely ignored: What is the difference between those 80% of compliers and the 20% who don’t comply. Good relationships are not realized by simply being comfortable with yourself and honest about who you are and what you think and feel. What really is the difference between genuinely and honestly working to become a better person (which is obviously what everyone should do) and what Glover’s Nice Guy supposedly wants to do?

I am here reviewing just the one book, which proposes a particular psychology of men, or at least of a particular kind of man (although it hedges on whether there even are any other kind of men but Nice Guys and ex-Nice-Guys). Because most Nice Guys believe they are bad for being sexual, or believe that other people will think they're bad, sexual impulses have to be kept hidden from view. Trying to be a great lover pretty much ensures that a nice guy will not have many passionate, reciprocal, spontaneous, serendipitous, or intimate sexual experiences – Hardly a recipe for good sex! Milkman is a real and serious scientist: she has an extensive publication history, and holds a professorship in behavioral economics.

Spending extended periods of time alone also helps recovering Nice Guys face there number one fear – Loneliness and isolation.

I suspect that may be hyperbole, but hyperbole is a problem in a book that is supposed to be discussing science.

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